


Bad Universe!

by Skyepilot



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Coulson stanning Daisy hard, Daisy and Lola, Daisy in Space, Escape, F/M, Fate, First Kiss, First Time, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Humor, IN SPACE!, Marriage Proposal, Outer Space, Prison, Skye | Daisy Johnson's Superpowers, Soulmates, Undercover as Married, too much plot for my tastes but whelp here we are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-03 00:48:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10956240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepilot/pseuds/Skyepilot
Summary: This was just a funny idea that stuck with me after the S4 finale, and imagining various prison escape scenarios with Daisy and Coulson.





	Bad Universe!

"Conjugal visit."

"I'm sorry. _What?_ " he asks, as Project Supervisor Og repeats the phrase back to him.

"Conjugal visit. Part of the legal code," he blusters. "Once a month."

The wheels start to turn, but he keeps it to himself, and goes quiet, just nods, playing along.

"Guess someone out there misses you after all. Or your kind is going extinct or something."

There's a snort, just short of the kind of snide laughter he's become accustom to from Og the Terrible in the last month.

Daisy. Her and the team must've found him, somehow.

And they're going to use this to pass information to him? Try to break him out of the penal colony?

Of course, the Universe might throw him _anything_ at this point.

Maybe the translator is working wrong, he thinks tapping the side of his neck.

Better to not get his hopes up too high.

 

  
###

 

He hears the apparently universal cry of the catcall as he waits in the holding area.

There are a few scenarios he's run through in his head since he's been here.

None of them, however, have made him this nervous for some reason.

What the team has been up to this whole time. If they've gone underground again.

If Talbot is hunting them, or if they smoothed things over.

Whether they were allowed to remember him. Whether that is good or bad.

How they might break him out, of course.  That one he thinks about a lot.

He's made a few contacts here, got good at reading them and trading on information.

Maybe buy in if they might get the chance to see outside of this floating prison?

Conjugal visits seem like a bit of a dirty joke, though.

Even so, he shaved in an attempt to play along.

Then he looks up as the heavy security door in front of him slowly slides open.

"Hi, honey. Miss me?"

 

  
###

 

"Please tell me this is your idea of a joke."

Her face falls a little at his attempt at humor as she stares outside of his sleeping pod with the view on display.

"It was a legal recourse," she replies, crossing her arms. "This your view every day?"

"Not bad, huh?" he asks, coming to stand beside her. "Unless, you know, they open it up and suck you out into space."

"Do they do that?" she replies, swinging back around to look at him with a troubled expression.

"I think it's happened before, from what I gather," he says rather blithely.

"Show me where the controls are," she tells him, her frown deepening, as she gets back on task.

He leads her over to the metal panel and she starts to examine it.

"May stayed behind to pilot," she says, abruptly. "And Simmons is a terrible liar. Fitz doesn't like you that much, sorry. Which left-"

"Mack?" he asks, leaning against the wall, watching her. "Elena?"

"On Earth. And don't know you like I do," she sighs and closes her eyes like she's committing the panel to memory. "Wouldn't be so convincing under questioning, right?"

"Did they question you?" he asks, as she straightens again.

"Yeah," she nods and then goes to the window, touches along the seal with her fingers.

"About what?" he wonders, curious, and follows her as she examines the room.

"You. Me. How we met. Your favorite dessert. Blood type. They combed through the fake papers I had to create."

"When did we get married?"

She stops and stands up straight again and reaches for his prosthetic arm.

"They let you keep this?"

"Yes," he says, as she pushes up the sleeve of his work shirt. "They disabled the extra features, though. Some kind of field in operation to short out alien tech."

"Good to know," she sighs, letting go of his hand, looking up into his eyes nervously. "Kiss me."

"What?" he asks, his head jerking back.

"It needs to look like something happened, and, anyway, it's in my mouth."

"What?"

" _Information_. You still know how to be a spy, right?" she says a bit tiredly, putting a hand on her hip.

He waits too long to answer, because she takes the object out of her mouth, and places it in the palm of his hand.

It won't be that convincing. She's right.

Lifting his hand, he brushes the pad of his thumb against her mouth, and smears the lipstick there a little.

Which somehow manages to feel more dangerous than actually doing the kissing.

 

  
###

 

"Your mate," she asks, sitting next to him in the commissary, sliding her tray closer.

Which is weird, because he's the only human here, and no one ever wants to sit with him.

"What about her?" he asks, eating his food portion. Refusing to look at it often helps with that task.

"She is not a Earth person, yes?"

That makes him pause for a moment, and put his eating implement down.

She is a Mephitisoid, and an excellent manipulator when she wants something. Her real name is unpronounceable he's been told.

And apparently she wants something from him.

"How do you know that?" he asks, slouching his shoulders to hide his face from being read.

"She doesn't smell like Earth person," she trills, drumming her pale fingers against the table top and swishing her tail back and forth.

"What does she smell like then?" he asks, turning to give her his best smirk.

"Nice," she smiles at him, propping a hand beneath a pointed ear. "Not sure. Why I ask."

Well, Daisy does smell nice, now that he thinks about it.

"I don't think we've ever been formally introduced," he says, extending his hand to play along. "I'm Phil Coulson."

"This custom, I know," she tells him, shaking his hand, and his eyes narrow. She isn't confused by this gesture like others have been.

"What's your name?" he asks companionably, and picks up the sporkish thing again.

"Your kind call me Hepzibah."

 

  
###

 

"She knows you're Inhuman."

"How?" she asks, sitting on the edge of his bed, while he paces in front of her and talks.

"Her race has abilities, something connected to smell. You don't smell human, I guess," he shrugs at her.

"Great," she answers, rolling her eyes, and kicking off the shoes to the floor.

"What's with that?" he asks, looking down at the shoes. The kind which Daisy never wears.

"I'm trying to get you to fall in love with me again. And you're too noble and self-sacrificing to indulge such romantic views of you ever seeing the outside."

She doesn't say it like he's actually any of those things, though.

"It _is_ a life sentence," he reminds her, and stops his fidgeting for a moment.

"So this person likes humans, huh?" she asks, looking up at him as he moves closer to her.

"I think she wants something. I'm not sure what yet."

"Hmm," she narrows her eyes. "I bet. Sounds _intriguing_ , " she adds in a teasing tone.

"It's not like that," he huffs back to her. "She's familiar with human customs. She says humans call her by a Hebrew name. I think she's been to Earth."

"Or people from Earth are out here."

"Not much evidence of that," he says. "SHIELD always kept an eye on that stuff."

"I'm out here," she grins, kicking out a leg at him. "You are."

"Yeah," he says, looking at the length of her leg exposed below another vivid red dress.

"Lola."

It's like she was reading his wandering mind. "I told them about Lola. Even showed them pictures. It also happens to be your favorite color, by the way."

He swallows at the way these things so easily connect in his mind, how this....

"I took pity on you this time," she says, opening a compartment in the bracelet she's wearing and handing the capsule over to him.

Stashing it away in the space under the bed cushion, he sits down beside her.

"Thanks," he tells her. "I like your dress."

That makes her smile a little shyly and look down at their legs, as she bumps her knee against his.

"I like that you didn't shave," she says, glancing back up at him.

 

  
###

 

"I heard Og is looking into your girl."

"Why?" he asks, slowing down at his work long enough to drag out the passing conversation.

"Bounty for information. There is Kree looking into Earther stuff now. They pay well."

He doesn't want to panic or anything, but it feels like the clock just started ticking.

"There a reason for that?" he asks, trying to plan things going into motion ahead of schedule now.

"Inhumans. Kree slaves. They haven't been heard of for thousands of years. Weapons that-"

"They're not Kree slaves," he snaps back, too forcefully, and then purposefully knocks the tray out of his hand as a distraction.

They both go to their knees to pick it back up along with the contents.

"Or weapons, either."

"Tell that to the Kree," he goes on, muttering. "Did they talk to Smicky about the things?"

"Yes, the things are arriving later this month. All sooner rather than later."

"Hey, just remember our deal," he tells him, talking tough by grabbing the front of his shirt, his hand shaking.

Nolor's been here longer than just about anyone.

"Trust me," he replies, feeling the grip start to loosen on his shirt.

"I just want to see my homeworld again," Nolor reminds him.

"I got nothing else left except...home."

 

  
###

 

"You can't come here again," he tells her, panic slipping into his voice as he follows her towards the bed.

"Why?" she asks, and puts her hand on his arm in a soothing gesture.

"The Kree are looking for you. For Inhumans."

Her eyes go wide, and then resolute. "We can handle them."

"Daisy, people think of Inhumans as...."

"Then they can find out what we really are," she answers, and slips her hand down his arm to take his wrist. "First, we're getting you out of here."

"That's not a priority now."

"See?" she returns sarcastically. "You really are that noble and selfless. And also, not in charge of this op."

The worst part of it all, is that he was looking forward to this.

He'd been thinking about it all day, and not just because of the mission.

It was simply that he wanted to see her. Even though he wanted to see her before, of course, but this...

And he hasn't even shaved. His face has been itching for days.

She reaches down into the front of her dress and takes something out from underneath her bra, first one side, and then the other, and tosses them on the bed.

"You'd better hide these, because there won't be more," she instructs, pointing. "Essential."

He laughs, looking at her adjusting the push-up bra again so that it makes her cleavage go up and out of the top of the dress.

"That's _so_ not you," he sighs, as she pauses, her hands on her breasts.

"Just remember, these saved your life, Phil."

He grins, and almost laughs, taking his boots off and puts the devices into the bottom at the heel, while she reviews the mission details with him.

"Hepzibah will take the guards out at the field generator."

"Yes," he confirms, watching her pace, the sound of her heels clacking on the metal floor.

"And Nolor, you're sure about this guy?"

"He's got a system to monitor guard locations. And he's been serving a life sentence for 200 years. What does he have to lose?"

She pauses to stare at him, like she's trying not to think about _that_ , but she can't help it.

When he reaches for her, to draw her closer, to erase the sadness from her face, her fingers lift and brush along the stubble of his jaw.

"Hey, Phil," she says, her voice shaking. "Kiss me. Okay?"

He does.

 

  
###

  
The next time he sees her, she's floating outside of his sleeping pod.

The ship isn't visible, the cloaking technology is keeping it off the radar for now, but it's somewhere nearby, because there's a tether connecting Daisy to it.

She's holding his big gun, and if he weren't worried about Nolor making it here in time, he'd be having a big geek-out moment.

Okay, he's having one anyway, watching her wiggle her fingers at him in a wave.

Then of course, the sound of shooting comes their way.

Nolor shows up in a panic, looking like the top of his grey hair is singed, with the tool in his hand that he's been using to bang on the pipes to communicate this whole time.

"The guards are on me!"

Shoes off, then he's pulling the devices out of the bottom and slaps them on their backs, activating them to encase their bodies in shields, pulling Nolor backwards away from the window with him.

Daisy uses her powers to shake the pod apart, he can hear the sound of the metal screaming, see the strain in her face.

His big geek-out moment just got bigger. Daisy looks like a titan bending the universe to her will.

Then the ship is uncloaked, an alien design, their window of secrecy blown, as the window comes flying off and they're sucked into space where Daisy is.

Daisy, using her jetpack to chase them down as they spin off into space, managing to reach them under fire like a miracle.

She hands the gun off, lets him get off a few gratifying parting shots, as she guides them to safety.

"Hepzibah?" she yells, when they take more heavy fire and the ship lurches, the hanger shutting tight after them.

"Turns out she could leave whenever she wanted to," he says, shutting off his shield. "She's looking for information. About another human guy," he smirks. " _Her_ human guy. Not me."

Daisy nudges him and stares down at Nolor, who's still wearing his shield, gazing at her in awe.

"So that's what an Inhuman is."

 

  
###

  
After he's reconnected with the team here, and they're out of the danger for the moment, he takes a walk around the ship to soak it in.

This humbling feeling of gratitude he's experiencing.

How they all played a part in getting him back. Even Mack and Elena on Earth holding down the fort so they could be here for him.

Of course, they're also all criminals now.

They've been criminals before, he supposes.

Depends on who you ask.

"Nolor is all settled in," Daisy tells him, finding him looking out one of the ports into space.

"This view is...better," he remarks, taking in a deep breath and turning to her.

"It's a great view," she says, letting her eyes look him over.

He finds himself blushing, then glancing around to see if anyone is watching them, like it's a habit now.

"Are you going to miss the undercover?" he jokes, stepping close to her, closing the distance between them.

"I think you know the answer to that," she smiles at him, leaning up to press her lips to his.

It's not a kiss of reassurance, like the one he gave her that day in his sleeping pod.

It's like breathing again. A daydream that had seemed out of his reach is real, right here in his arms.

"He never needed to fall in love with her again," he tells her, lips brushing against her mouth. "He was always in love with her."

"I know."

He stops worrying about whether they're being watched.

 

  
###

  
"We sat down for pancakes, and the next thing I know, I'm in space prison."

She weaves her fingers in between his, looking at them intertwined.

"It's just that, we never really got the chance to talk," he goes on, turning his head to look at her. "About what happened?"

Daisy has gone quiet again, and he starts to feel guilty, like he's messing with her carefully won contentment.

"Do you want to talk about the Framework?" she asks him, turning on her side to face him.

"The way we were connected, even in there," he says propping himself up on an elbow. "How is that-"

"I don't know," she tells him, lifting her hand from beneath the cover they're sharing to touch the scar on his chest.

"The documents you made up. Are those real?"

"What?" she asks, laughing at him a little. "Phil. They were for a mission."

"But, they believed they're real. Why aren't they real?"

"Because none of those things ever happened?" she tells him, shifting again, but raising her hand to his chin, her curiosity obviously piqued.

"Most of them did," he reminds her, taking her hand to kiss her fingertips. "You told the truth about how we met. Lola. We've officially had our first conjugal visit."

"Mmm," she said. "We had sex. Conjugal visits don't always mean sex."

"Sure, but, that's just a date on a piece of paper. The rest of it...it's real. And you found me again. In outer space. That has to mean some-"

She holds his face still and kisses him. "Yeah," she smiles and gets her hand around his shoulders, moving him over her. "It means we have a lot of catching up to do."

"Good start," he shrugs, shifting over her. "But, I think the universe is trying to tell us something."

He pauses, and she rests her hands on his shoulders, as the ship slows, then lurches and comes to a halt.

Daisy reaches to pick up the coms device beside her bed and flips on the screen as the blue light from it floods the room.

"It's a Kree ship," she says with a sigh, leaning back against the pillow.

"Bad universe!"

She leans up to kiss him, and then flips the cover off them to get up out of the bed.

"Is that yes?" he asks, as she starts getting dressed.

"Right now?" she smiles at him and tosses him his shirt.

"If not now, when?" he asks cockily, tugging it on over his head.

"Then, yes," she grins.


End file.
